Imbolc

The coven is getting together this weekend for Imbolc (the day between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox). Not normally a "big" holiday for me but this year I'm making use of it for some personal issues. In my journey through life I seem to have lost my way. Not by some horrible amount but I don't feel that who and where I am is where I want to be.

Probably more to the point I'm not sure who I am anymore. There are a number of reasons for feeling lost, in no particular order:

I'm 40 and am probably having some type of midlife crisis, what is life and my place in it all about?
Over the past few years I have developed a nasty habit of resentfully accommodating those around me.
I'm not the most disciplined person and have allowed myself to build undesired habits, one of which is my smoking.
I take way too much of what happens around me personally.
I have a lot of built up anger and am not good at handling situations that generate anger in me, part of why I resentfully accommodate.

So I have a few things I want to address before I get too far into my second set of 40 years and am kicking it off this Imbolc.

My plan has two main parts. The first is a cleansing and purification of the past. I need to separate myself from those things in my past that I don't want anymore. I need to break from the habit of smoking. I need to break the pattern of resentful accommodation. I need to release my anger from the past and not let it blow current issues out of perspective.

The second part of my plan is to start making small changes in my life to find myself and my path through life. The first step on this part will be making a concerted effort to block out 30 minutes each day to do those things that bring me joy and peace. Two things that come to mind as activities for this daily "self" time is blogging and meditation.

Stay tuned for updates and Happy Imbolc.